The Unexamined Life

The unexamined life is not worth living...

I have a lot of opportunity to examine things in my life and in the world. I am a virtual shut-in, in a world confined by the constant demands of small children for a snack, laundry, potty training, and the lack of funds to do pretty much- anything. So I get to analyze a lot of what I'm experiencing and meditate on what I believe and why.

So today I'm asking why it is Christians have been pretty silent and complacent in the face of almost every global crisis today. Like the hell on earth that is Aleppo. Like the death of black men by public police execution in our streets. I could go on. By now you know what I care about.

I have spoken out about the lack of compassion, but now I am reflecting on the role of various doctrines in the formation of our modern Christian theology. It appears that much of Christian life is focused on belief and is fragmented into disconnected boxes from there. The essential component of Christianity has been reduced to 'believing the right thing' or being the exclusive holder of Truth or even having the correct interpretation of Scripture. Once you are secure in being the exclusive holder of Truth with a superior Scriptural interpretation, you can then begin fragmenting your life further by separating the spiritual from the sinful. Christians then become essentially Gnostics- or those who believe that the flesh is evil and corrupted and that the soul is spiritual.

This enables all of life to be boxed and shelved. Sunday is the day of worship. Worship is singing and praying and listening to a sermon. Doing every day things like chores or going to work is not spiritual. We must constantly look for ways to get back to being spiritual through Bible study, or more church activities, or (if you are Charismatic) another conference. If you are legalistic or driven by performance then there is community service, if you are evangelic or non-denominational there are always church programs and ministries. But life is a constant war between the secular and the sacred and we never feel spiritual enough.

Brother Lawrence wrote the classic "Practicing the Presence of God." Legend has it that he had so incorporated his spirituality into his everyday chores that people would come from all over just to watch him wash the dishes because he would begin to levitate. He discovered that every aspect of life is spiritual and allowed even the most mundane of tasks to become an exercise in meditation, an act of worship.

So what does this have to do with Aleppo or Black Lives Matter? I believe it is this very disconnection- the separation of the physical and the spiritual, and the fragmentation of our devotional and secular life that has cut us off from the deep well of compassion within that allows us to live a life of activism that is fueled by our faith. We have become overrun with busyness and have become disconnected from community. We have gone along with church doctrine at the expense of the message of Christ. We have allowed politics to define and usurp our mandate by Christ to concern ourselves with the least of these.

A few days ago in my time of meditation I heard the words "Hold fast" in my spirit. This is where it is found in Scripture:
Revelation 3 (NIV)
To the Church in Sardis
3 “To the angel of the church in Sardis write:
These are the words of him who holds the seven spirits of God and the seven stars. I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. 2 Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God. 3 Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; hold it fast, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you.

We are approaching some unprecedented times of challenge for our nation. The reemergence of fascism is on the rise. White nationalism is on the rise. 65 million refugees are in need of shelter. Where will our courage be found as Christians? Will the current state of our faith suffice?

We must allow the message of Christ to permeate every segment of our lives and being. It is no longer good enough to be Sunday or morning devotional Christians. Our times demand more of us. The world demands more of us. It is time to reevaluate what we truly believe.

I hope that when Jesus speaks to us in this time we will hear "When I was naked you clothed me, when I was hungry you fed me," and not "You are lukewarm and I will spit you out of my mouth."

Walking Evidence of Healing

Praying for people to be healed takes more than just faith- it takes a commitment to put yourself out there when there is the chance for disappointment, rejection, or even humiliation. A lot of times you pray for someone and you don't see any visible difference. But sometimes you do. And that is awesome.

Last week at church Jeff (the soon to be husband for you just checking in) got a word of knowledge that there were 3 women and 2 men in the church who were dealing with IBS/digestive issues/Crones disease. A word of knowledge is a gift of the Spirit where God reveals an issue that he wants to heal. A lot of times He reveals the issue by someone feeling someone else's pain, or through a vision of the affected body part or condition, or through just saying the condition. 

When I found Jeff he was praying for a man in a wheelchair who was one of the 2 men who had a digestive condition. I noticed the man when I walked past him in the service and I thought to pray for him but didn't. But when Jeff was already praying for him I decided that was my opportunity. While Jeff was praying for his digestive condition, I heard a word of knowledge for diabetes. I asked the man if he had diabetes and he confirmed that he did. So I prayed for God to remove the diabetes and for all blood sugar levels to return to normal. After I prayed for the diabetes I got the impression of the man waking around the room. I asked the man if he could walk. He said he had a disk problem in his back that caused him pain and the doctor said he could probably only walk a little with the help of a walker, which he did not have. I prayed for his lower back where he had the disk problem. He said he didn't feel the usual pain any more. I asked the man if he wanted to try and get up and walk. He walked several steps with assistance, but said he had a hole in the bone in his lower leg. He sat down & I prayed for that too.

The next week I almost missed it, but Jeff pointed out that he was WALKING to give his offering! The man walked about 50 feet by himself with his wheelchair and without a walker! When I saw that I started to tear up! The man in the wheelchair was WALKING! PRAISE JESUS. 

So this is why we pray. We pray for people to be healed because we know it is ALWAYS God's will to heal. Sometimes we see it and sometimes we don't, but man it is good to see it! 

How God Tricked Me Into Enjoying the Monster Truck Rally

I learned an important lesson in expecting God's goodness last weekend from the monster truck rally. Somehow before I fully appreciated what I was getting myself into I volunteered myself to sell peanuts at the monster truck rally. I told a friend I would do it in order to raise money for his ministry. Well afterwards I started thinking about what exactly I had volunteered to do. I envisioned myself having to hawk peanuts in the stands full of drunk people at a loud monster truck rally. I thought about how sick I had been all week and how I had no energy to haul peanuts up and down the stands. I thought about how repugnant the idea of a monster truck rally seemed.

Then I started to try and back out of the commitment with God. Unfortunately they had just enough people and I could not back out. Every time I prayed about it God said, "Please go to the monster truck rally." I was telling God that when I said I wanted to go on adventures with Him, I did not have a monster truck rally in mind.

I arrived at the monster truck rally to discover that my first apprehension was not a reality. I did not have to hawk peanuts in the stands. Rather I was going to sell candied almonds and pecans at a vendor's stand. I ended up at the club level with this energetic high school kid. I learned how to make the nuts and use the cash register. I scooped rather normal people ice cream. It was fun. I got to appreciate what it takes to run a small business. But most of all I just had fun with this goofy guy who talked non-stop and reminded me what it was like to be fun in high school. I remembered I WAS fun in high school. It was nice to feel fun.

I even liked watching the monster trucks. They flip over and it's pretty cool.

So at the end of the day I realized God got me. He tricked me into having a really fun time when I thought I would be miserable.

I realized that I really can trust God to give me good things. Lately He's been talking to me about having a "surprise." I have been fearful of this surprise, thinking that past life surprises have not been all that pleasant. But then I hear my friends tell their 3 year old that they have a surprise for him. It's never a shot at the doctor's office or nasty medicine. It's always something he'll like, such as a parachute man, or a popsicle, or a new water toy for the yard. So why would I expect less from my Daddy God? After the monster truck rally I decided to expect good things from God that I will enjoy, even if it appears like something that I might not immediately like.

Matthew 7: ⁷ “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. ⁹ “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? ¹⁰ Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? ¹¹ If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! 

Without Love Church is Worthless

Some friends and I were relating horror stories of how people in church have treated us. I was dumbfounded by the things other 'Christians' say to others. I am left with the conclusion that if church is not a place of LOVE then we should not have church. We should just seriously do away with it entirely. 


1 Corinthians 13
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.


Now you could say, "You can't throw the baby out with the bath water. People in church aren't perfect." But look, my thinking is this: If you aren't learning to LOVE in church, then why do we go? If we are doing anything other than learning to love, WHAT IS THE POINT? We can have programs galore, massive attendance, great buildings with a coffee shop, but if at the end of the day people walk away being criticized, shamed, judged, or even cast out and rejected, WHY HAVE CHURCH?


Paul says I can give my body to the flames and go to my death and die as a martyr and if I don't have LOVE it is MEANINGLESS.

Perhaps we are worrying about doctrine, tithing, gifts, principles, teaching, singing, etc. etc. when really we should be learning about LOVE and practicing how to LOVE one another.

It is really quite simple.

1 John 4
⁷ Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. ⁸ Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. ⁹ This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰ This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. ¹¹ Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. ¹² No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

satan busted for telling same lie to wrong people

We all know that satan is a liar, but recently I found out that he is a consistent liar.

I was talking to a friend and he was quite discouraged about his situation. He had a major relational disappointment and I was trying to console him. At the end of our conversation he started talking about his job situation and then he said that because of his lack of education he felt he had "not accomplished anything" and had "not done anything in life."

I am thinking, "At least he has a job... I am rarely even employed!"

And I realize that I think the EXACT SAME THINGS about myself, yet here I am extremely educated. I am educated, but not employed- he is employed and not educated- but the common denominator is that we both believe the same things about ourselves.

So that's when satan was busted. He has been caught telling the SAME lie to us both.

There was one other lie I had also believed verbatim, but I can't remember what it was now.

My conclusion is that satan is consistent in his accusations against us. Let's learn from this that he tells us ALL that we have not accomplished anything regardless of what our accomplishments actually are. Whatever you have done, it will not feel like enough if satan has anything to do with it!

I am writing this to expose his strategy, so don't let him get away with it in your life! Believe the truth that if you are following Jesus you are accomplishing what HE wants you to accomplish regardless of what it is. If you are a mom, feel accomplished in taking care of your kids. If you have a job, feel the assurance that is where you are supposed to have influence right now. If you are in school- study with passion for God. And whatever you do- don't look to the WORLD to define your sense of accomplishment because that will guarantee that you feel like you don't measure up.

And for good measure I will add that none of us think we have accomplished as much as we should for our age or our station in life. No, you're not alone. Either you should be married by now, or have kids by now, or be farther in your career, or have a newer car- blah, blah, blah.

Just accept yourself for who you are. You're doing a good job. You probably try your best. So rest in God's love and acceptance for yourself- and PLEASE don't look around and compare yourself to others. God doesn't. He loves you right where you are for WHO you are.

Why God Cared About my Cupcake

Ok, while I'm at it I'm going to catch up on things I've been meaning to blog about...

This is my cupcake story.

My friend brought home a yummy cupcake. It was chocolate with white frosting.

As I unwrapped the cupcake and prepared to eat it, I heard God say, "I want you to enjoy every bite of that cupcake."

I thought, "I am shocked that God cares about this cupcake, but I will do what He says." So I enjoyed every bite of the cupcake.

As I finished it God said, "If you don't let yourself desire anything, then how can I give you the desires of your heart?"

This was profound. And then I could see why at that moment the God of the universe took a sudden interest in my chocolate cupcake.

You see, God says that we don't have because we don't ask. I am quite good (probably like most of us) at crucifying the desires of my heart. Whether it is from the pervasively WRONG doctrine in the church that says our hearts are evil and only desire things of the flesh that lead us to sin, or my own practicality that does not like to get my hopes up for things that could lead to disappointment, I do not typically allow myself to dream, or even want at times. I go along with life content in what I can see and I don't hope for much.

Once someone prophesied over me that I sit at the feet of Jesus like Mary, but I don't ask him for anything.

We think we are pleasing God by our small aspirations and we label it contentment. We think God approves of our desire to restrict our hearts from dreaming and we call it self-discipline.

Well I now know that this does NOT please God and what pleases Him is our wild abandonment to dream up ludicrous things that only He could pull off. He wants us to have such an intimate place of friendship with Him that we ask for things that actually make us HAPPY and not just for our basic needs to be met.

I mean, what parent would be pleased with a child who says the following in response to the question, "Son/Daughter, what would you like for your birthday?"

"Mommy and Daddy, I would like for you to feed me, and put clothes on me- and maybe if I am really lucky, then I would like you to give me a bath."

They would look at that child horrified that their child does not know they are loved. They would feel like complete failures as parents.

What if the child asks for a monkey, or even further, an entire zoo? They are not going to give the child the monkey or the zoo, but maybe the child gets to go visit the monkeys and the zoo. Maybe the child gets a stuffed monkey or a toy zoo. But for goodness sake, even if the child does not get exactly what she asks for, they are going to be pleased in the grand aspirations of their child and do their best to fulfill her desires!

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Let yourself DESIRE. Ask. Hope. I dare you!

Slouching no longer a problem thanks to the God who heals!

My house is the place to be right now if you have back problems...

Last week for my friend's birthday she asked me to pray for her. She has had chronic back problems requiring her to see a chiropractor and even this did not fully alleviate the pain. She complained that she was in pain when she picked up her kids or sat with them on the floor. God led me to pray for her back. I prayed for her spine, the leg joints going into her hip, and then I felt I should pray for her pelvis to be aligned properly and restored to its original design. When I prayed for the pelvis she said "This reminds me that a doctor said my pelvis was tilted and she did not think I could have kids."

Now a week later the pain is gone! Her back is healed!

I have not had severe back problems, but my mother has always tried to correct my slouching problem. I've also had massage therapists tell me that my spine is not properly aligned. I have known that one hip sits lower than the other, which causes me to always put more weight on my right leg. This makes my right hip, knee, and ankle hurt.

These are things you accept and just live with. Like the stress I've always carried in my left shoulder, shoulder blades, and along my neck. Last week I was at a Wednesday night house church and I felt the Spirit doing something in my left arm. My friend put his hand on the shoulder and instantly the power of God coursed down the arm and I felt all the tension leave my shoulder blade. It has never felt so relaxed. My friend did not even say a prayer for my shoulder, he just put his hand on my arm and the power of God healed my shoulder.

Then this past Monday I went to a prayer group. We were not praying for healing. I was sitting on the floor and all of a sudden I sensed the Spirit concentrate on my right leg. My entire leg started to straighten and then my ankle flexed in ways I never could. The sit and reach was always my worst nightmare in elementary school because even in childhood I was completely inflexible. Like, can't touch my toes inflexible. Yoga helped some, but I could never do the staff pose- the pose where you sit on the floor with your back straight and your legs straight out. (This is supposed to be an EASY pose for people. You just sit with your hands by your hips and your back straight.) Well my legs were too tight, my hips were too tight, and my back could not straighten, so I would be the only poor soul struggling with this supposedly easy pose... But when I am just hanging out on the floor I feel my leg completely straighten and my knee touched the ground. I don't think it has EVER been ever to do that!

Tonight was the best though. I had been watching the Voice of the Prophets conference online. All my friends went to the conference, but I was at home babysitting children. I was about to turn it off because the speaker was finished and it was just ministry time, but I thought I'd keep it on while I got ready for bed. I was just sitting at my desk when the guy on the stage was directing people to available prayer ministers and he just casually says, "Lord send your healing." Right at that moment I feel my spine start to straighten between my shoulder blades. It is just straightening my entire back and instantly it corrected my posture! I have NEVER been able to sit or stand so straight in my ENTIRE LIFE! I mean, my abs, shoulders, spine- everything- are physically in a different place. I have been praying for my body to come into alignment for a while, but tonight I didn't pray for any healing. Actually each time I have been healed in the last week NOBODY prayed for my healing! God just did it!

I'm on a roll with backs, so if someone needs healing for back pain, hit me up!

And if you need healing for Anything, hit JESUS up because he is still in the healing business!