Irony

I just returned from a friend's wedding and promptly set out to send out a card for another friend whose wedding I will not be able to attend in two weeks.

The wedding I was in was very beautiful, and to the uninformed eye, went off splendidly. Of course at any wedding there are things that go wrong. Something arrives late and stresses everyone out. Something is not decorated as specified. People do dumb things because they are people. But at this wedding as a bridesmaid, I was most satisfied that nobody passed out and fell over from locking their knees, nobody tripped walking down the aisle, and so on.

I saw how there is a lesson in life that in anything things are bound to not go exactly as planned. And we decide how we handle these things when they don't go as expected.

I was tested in this immediately.

I was writing in my friend's card. I was trying to write a quote from St. Teresa of Avila that goes something like this:

Let nothing disturb you

Let nothing frighten you

All things pass away

God never changes

Patience obtains all things

He who has God wants for nothing.

God alone is enough.

Well I am writing in this really pretty card and it is my last special multi-colored butterfly card. I am giving it to my friend because I am not going to her wedding and I think she deserves the best- the last of my favorite cards.

I am writing "Let nothing disturb you" and like an idiot I switch the 'u' and the 'r.' I then try to write over the letters and try to make the r look like a u, but it doesn't work. So then I am looking at this messy word that is right at the top and smacks of imperfection. On a nice wedding card no less. I am weighing the options of crossing it out because I deem the word unredeemable. I figure this is an even worse option than leaving the bumbled word there as it is. I look to see if I have any more butterfly cards, and I realize it is the last one. It would've sucked to have wasted another precious butterfly card, but at least I could try again for a clean version of the card. No, I decide I want to use the butterfly card. I was tempted to get frustrated and upset. And disappointed. Perfectionism was creeping up and threatened to ruin all the excitement I had about the card and the purpose for which I was sending it.

Then I thought about the irony of the very quote I screwed up. Let nothing disturb you...

So I regrouped and decided to take the quote at its word and readjusted my attitude. "I will make it work!" I declared to myself, as if Tim Gunn himself was standing there over my shoulder. And I ripped off the messed up part and just used the clean part. And it looks fine.

Take that perfectionism! You will not have victory over me today! Now let's just see if I can apply this to the big stuff that doesn't go well...

Crazy? Let's hope not!

So I'm wondering if God could use a pocket dial to give me a message...

I was listening to this guy from a prophecy conference and he was talking about how we have to appear peculiar to the outside world sometimes if God is going to be able to use us in radical ways. Like being the phrase, "fools for Christ" from 1 Corinthians 4:10.

I am thinking to myself, "Oh no, I hope God is not preparing me to be ready to have to do something that makes me look bad to others."

Then I see that I have a voice message on my phone. It is what I finally discern to be a pocket dial of none of than Seal's, "Crazy."

Oh no.

Best Compliment Ever

I'm starting to see a trend... I have now had two marriage proposals from men who barely know me. (I'm starting to understand how my beautiful, pale skinned, American friend must feel in S/SE Asia!) And also- I have had two unrelated people use these exact words to describe me: "unusual" and "peculiar." In the best intended sense possible, of course.

I don't know what to say. I guess it is better than, "intense," because I get that on occasion as well. I don't think that can be taken in a flattering sense ever.

But the same person who offered to marry me after calling me "unusual and peculiar" said that when I prayed for him he experienced something he had never felt before in his life. He felt the warm and the tangible Presence of God. That's pretty cool.

Now I don't claim to be normal. I mean, who defines what is normative anyway? I used to revel in non-conformity. But let's face it- it's hard living abnormally. For me it has been the process of saying yes to God always, which has led me on some pretty amazing adventures. But that has also meant rejecting a life of stability, if that were at all in my control, (which is probably wasn't, but at least I could've fancied the idea that I could have a goal of stability). Instead I have gotten God. I have really gotten to know Him. We spend like, all day every day together. And that has perks. Like I know what He's like, and He shares stuff with me, and I in turn get to share that with others.

That is what makes it all worth it. Like the guy who gave me the best compliment ever.

The short story is this... It should be known that I will drive all over the place to be where I think God is going to show up. I crave being in His Presence, and that's just not something you find in any old church service. I have been missing this of late, but then I found out about this woman who has worship and "hosts the Holy Spirit" at her house. I knew it would be worth the drive.

I showed up and I felt normal amongst the people there. These are people who dance in worship. They laugh. Yes, they laugh in church! They are vibrant people. And when someone is sick, or has an addiction, or can't pay their bills, people take the time to gather around them to pray for them. It is a time of encouragement and strengthening each other and not just filling our heads with a quaint tidbit of Biblical knowledge to provide a principle to live by. That is what I'm talking about when I say God showing up. You actually feel that He is there.

And this is what happened when I prayed for the man. I just put my hand over his and he got this tingling sensation that lasted well after I took my hand away. And before he left I prayed for him again. I prayed for the power, healing, and love of God to be made real to him. And he actually FELT it! How cool is that?!

He called today to tell me that it changed his life.

Now, I studied social work to change lives. I went to law school with the aspiration that the degree would empower me to change lives. I worked to fight human trafficking to change lives. And after not being a social worker, or using the law degree, or sometimes being employed at all, I wonder how I am going to change lives. But I know my life has been changed in the Presence of God. This is not something I can put on my resume.

So to hear that the product of my personal time spent with God in brokenness, often in frustration, desperation, and confusion, but also in rest and peace- to hear that helped touch the life of another, whom I later found out desperately needed love and encouragement- that was the best compliment ever.

And THAT friends, is what I mean when I say there is more than just talking about sin. We get to introduce people to God. Like a physical, tangible, on the spot introduction. THAT changes lives.

So if all we know about the Gospel is that Jesus saves sinners, we might get people who really feel sinful to repent. But then what? 'Ok, good job, you're forgiven and going to heaven, but I guess you can just keep working on that sin stuff because boy, you're a mess!' Or how about, "Do you need to know the love of God right now? Let me show you what that's like."

Who can resist acceptance? Who can reject love that warms every part of you, even when you are your most broken?

The problem is that people don't know that love from themselves, and their view of God is incomplete. So therefore it follows that their Gospel is incomplete. God fixes sinners. The end.

Oh friends, if that's all you know of God, I invite you to come with your (to coin the beloved Brennan Manning term) RAGGAMUFFIN SELF and let yourself be loved by Abba, Daddy God. And then, when you are good and stuffed full of His love and goodness, then go out and share it with others!