Mission: Valentine's Day Encouragement!

It is Valentine's Day. Ok, I will own it.

I almost forgot, except that the kind couple that I live with gave me a card and a heart mug and tea. To me tea = love. I felt loved.

I came to work thinking about the Peanuts Valentine's Day show with Charlie Brown and homemade valentines. I shared my ginger lemon Valentine's tea with the fellow sicklings at work. That shared the love, but I thought I needed to do more.

Then I talked to this guy who has to be the most discouraged person I know. I work with a lot of discouraged people because it is temporary work and people are looking for jobs. I wondered if he had ever gotten a valentine's card. Then God gave me the idea to write him one myself. I tore off a piece of notepad paper. I drew a big heart. I said:

S-
God wants you to know that He loves you and has a plan for your life. Don't give up! You are a kind and thoughtful person. You are wonderful and valuable!

One the front I wrote: "Happy Valentine's Day :)" and I left it on his desk when he went to the bathroom.

I knew this was the right thing, but then fear set in. 'What if he gets mad? What if I should not have written God? What if I get accused of trying to convert people at work?' Then he came back from the bathroom. He read my note. I did not sign it, but he knew it was from me. He approached my desk. He said, "I'm assuming this was from you." I nodded. Then he said with a smile amd enthusiasm, "Thanks a lot!"

Hooray! Mission encouragement accomplished!

I write this, once again, to show you that it doesn't take much to show love. I quite enjoyed my little flashback to elementary school endeavor to create a valentine. You just have to look around, get over the things in your own life that you wish were better, and make a point to speak hope into the lives of people around you who need to hear it.

Philippians 2: 1-2: Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any tenderness or compassion, then make my joy complete by having the same love, being one in spirit and mind.

Let's take the love we have received from Christ and use it to encourage those around us who need to know it.

Laughing With

Wow Regina Spektor!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pxRXP3w-sQ

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God
When they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one laughs at God
When the doctor calls after some routine tests
No one's laughing at God
When it's gotten real late and their kid's not back from the party yet

No one laughs at God
When their airplane starts to uncontrollably shake
No one's laughing at God
When they see the one they love hand in hand with someone else
And they hope that they're mistaken

No one laughs at God
When the cops knock on their door
And they say we got some bad news, sir
No one's laughing at God
When there's a famine or fire or flood

But God could be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God themed joke or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they're 'bout to choke

God could be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious. Ha ha.

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one's laughing at God
When they've lost all they've got and they don't know what for

No one laughs at God
On the day they realize that the last sight they'll ever see
Is a pair of hateful eyes
No one's laughing at God
When they're saying their goodbyes

But God could be funny
At a cocktail party when listening to a good God themed joke or
Or when the crazies say He hates us
And they get so red in the head you think they're 'bout to choke

God could be funny
When told he'll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war

No one laughing at God in a hospital
No one's laughing at God in a war
No one's laughing at God
When they're starving or freezing or so very poor

No one's laughing at God
No one's laughing at God
No one's laughing at God
We're all laughing with God

Loving Others as Myself- Not Really...

I had a huge realization about myself recently. People think I am this really loving person. I think I'm this loving person. Surely God uses me to show His love to others frequently in my life.

But then God got down to the deepest part of my heart and showed me that really when it comes to the point of a relationship where I'm really in pain, I cut and run. I divorce people. I move on. I only let people as close as the point where I can be in control of how much ability they have to cause me pain. When the relationship ceases to pass a cost-benefit analysis, I check out.

God has been showing me that if I want to love like Christ, then I don't get to choose who (whom?) I love. And I don't get to choose how much I love the people He chooses.

I think this stinks. I want to self-protect. I want to live in denial so I don't see how truly sinful people are. I don't want to make myself vulnerable to others who are not reciprocating the amount of effort I think is worthy of the relationship.

I have been reminded of this Scripture:

Matthew 5:46-47: "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?"

And so the conclusion that I arrived at (once again) in the car on the way home last night is this- it is completely impossible for me to love people. I don't even actually want to love them. Not when it goes beyond the momentary interaction with a homeless man on a park bench. Really, if I am honest, I like to love people up to the point where their sin has an effect on my free will. I will love you until my goals in life are side-tracked because of your shortcomings. That is where I decide you are no longer are of benefit to me.

That is just selfish. So I guess I'm not as Christlike as I thought! Thanks God for grace. I don't have to find the ability to love any of you from some well of goodness within myself. I just have to be a surrendered vessel, willing to channel Christ's love. And God said I know how to do that.

Enlisting Soldiers for the Army of the Disillusioned and Disenfranchised

I read something in the book "Tribes" by Seth Godin that really inspired me:

"Heretics are the new leaders. The ones who challenge the status quo, who get in front of their tribes, who create movements."

I started thinking about who the church has historically called heretical people- people, for the most part, ahead of their time. They were people that made the others uncomfortable. They shook things up. Rattled the sense of what was appropriate and acceptable.

This got me thinking about how hard it is for me to seem to fit in church. And then it occurred to me... "Why do I need to fit in?" What prize is it to get the approval of church people? What if I am not made to fit in? What if I am created to venture out in front, to start new things- new movements?

Isn't that what the early church did? Do you remember what they were called before they got labeled "Christian" at Antioch? They were followers of The Way.

Let's take a survey of what the followers of The Way were known for:

- "there arose a great disturbance about the Way" (Acts 19:23)

- "the whole city was in an uproar" (vs 29)

- the crowd was so incensed they seized Paul's traveling companions and when Paul wanted to appear before the screaming, violent, mob the officials of the province and the disciples wouldn't let him (vs 29-30)

- Paul was labeled as a "troublemaker" for "stirring up riots among the Jews all over the world" as the leader of the "Nazarine sect." (Acts 24:5-6)

Who were the people who were so riled up about The Way? The religious folks. Yes, the people who liked the financial security from making money off of Artemis in Ephesus and the religious Jews in leadership over at the temple. These people did not like those who rustled their way of doing things and threatened their positions of wealth and power. So what if the rabble-rousers had the truth!

I was also thinking about this in terms of other influential rejects in the Bible. David's Mighty Men are a prime example. These 37 men were brave beyond all others, killing hundreds, breaking through an entire military line just to get some water for their captain from his beloved homeland well. These were the men that joined David out in the wilderness when he was in disfavor with the establishment under Saul. These were the disenfranchised- those who were "distressed, in debt, or discontented." (1 Samuel 22:2)

These were the heroes. The ones with massive student loan and credit card debt, the ones who couldn't find jobs or hated their job. The ones who had serious issues. These guys accomplished great feats of bravery beyond anyone's ability to fathom from such losers and outcasts!

So I'm thinking about all those people out there who don't feel like they are acceptable to church. I've decided that I'm going to start recruiting a mighty army of the disillusioned and disenfranchised.

• Those of you who struggle with your sexuality and the church despises you for it. I want you!
• Those of you who wrestle with the validity of the Bible. Bring your questions and sign up!
• To the strong women with leadership gifts the church won't allow you to use. Lead here!
• To those debtors who haven't figured out a budget through Dave Ramsey's financial freedom class and those who can't find a satisfying job- or even a job at all. Work for me!
• To those battling depression and those who can admit your life is a mess. You're welcome!

If you've ever felt like you didn't fit in church, or you wrestled with your faith, or felt bad that everyone else had their life together except for you, you finally have a place! If you were too dicey for church or the establishment- there's good news! You don't need to get ordained to make a difference. You don't have to fix your life to start making a difference.

I'm starting a movement of people like us. I'm going to show the establishment that God can and WILL use you- just the way you are. You don't have to fix your doubt or change your personality. Come as you are. Jesus wants you to live in victory and start a revolution! Let's do what the church was originally intended to do- shake things up!

Becoming More Undignified

I say that I used to be fun. Perhaps people that know me still see that I am fun- sometimes- but really I feel I have gotten too serious. I blame law school for this. But also the hard trials of life that have grown me closer to God, yet have made life just seem... hard.

In college I used to be a large group leader of 80 new freshman for orientation called Welcome Week. In the sessions at the large arena where all the freshman would be gathered there'd be a spirit competition. Each day one large group would be announced the winner of the spirit flag. My group was always one of the winners. I think this is because one year I was the only leader with a bull horn. Yes, I was fun. I was SO fun that my senior year after Welcome Week I was walking to class and this freshman guy came up to me and said, "Weren't you the leader of the group with the booty cheer?" I proudly replied, "Why yes, I was." He admiringly said, "Oh I wished I was in your group!" I nodded and thought to myself, "I bet they ALL want to by in my group."

How 3 years of reading case after legal case can steal the life out of you!

But I am on a mission to be fun again. I have found myself laughing with the couple I'm staying with and that is a start. I'm telling stories again, and trying to not be so weighed down by life. Even so, I still need help. My friend told me that Georgian Banov, a man that I know to be a spirit-filled worship leader and joy carrier, was going to be in town about an hour away. I knew I needed to go.

So I set off to a charismatic church I had never been to, and realized this seems to be a season of encountering different churches with different forms of worship. I went in with an open mind. I arrived to find Georgian in a jam session with the church's worship team.

Georgian was born into communism in Bulgaria and encountered God because members of the Jesus movement fed him when he came to America. He now travels around, but focuses his outreach to the gypsies. He plays the drums, guitar, and the fiddle and he just worships with abandon. His joy is contagious.

He invited everyone to get out of their chairs and come worship at the front. I found myself near a mother twirling her daughter around and an older black woman skipping about like a newborn calf out of the stall. I thought, I can either be serious up here surrounded by people really enjoying themselves in the Lord or I can let go and just have fun. I decided to have fun and before I knew it I was locking arms and swinging around with the older black woman like we were dance partners at a square dance. I jumped. I danced. I had FUN.

I suddenly found myself laughing and smiling. I didn't know the people around me, but I felt like one of them. I remembered the days of church youth camp where we didn't think anything of cheering and clapping and jumping up and down. We had that youthful zeal for God. And somewhere along the way I lost it.

But I got it back! I engaged in the atmosphere of freedom and joy. I soaked it up even when I felt a little silly. But I looked at those girls dancing with their mothers and how happy they were. They weren't embarrassed. And I wanted to be like them.

By the end of the night I was full of joy. I was so full of joy that God tested me by having me turn on the mainstream contemporary radio station. Normally I loathe most of the contemporary Christian radio. And the first song that came on was Casting Crowns- the pro-type of what I see wrong with mainstream Christian song writing. But God said, "Can you worship to this?" And lo and behold, I was so full of joy I sang along to Casting Crowns- and sort of enjoyed it. I was transformed!

Some of you who know me may be shaking your head saying, "Oh poor Liz, she's going off the Holy Spirit deep end. What will become of her?" Or if you knew someone who used to go to your church and found out they were dancing around with the tongue-speakers you might think they had gone soft on doctrine and were just after some emotional experience. But remember David when the ark returned to Jerusalem. He stripped down and danced before servant girls in unabashed worship to God. His wife despised him for it. When she confronted him about it he replied, "I will become EVEN MORE undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But," he said, "to the slave girls, I'll be held in honor." (2 Samuel 6)

There's a lot of people from certain denominations or even within charismatic churches that despise it when people start to have too much fun in worship. It's not serious or reverent. Christians are supposed to be straight-faced and solemn to show how great God is. Well, if that is how you feel, you go right ahead, but see how joyful you feel after service. Not everyone has to join the Holy Spirit hoe down at the front. Just don't despise those of us who don't mind humiliating ourselves!

Conference Full of Odd Ducks

On Sunday I got back from a Holy Spirit conference in Long Island NY. A friend from church took me. I had heard of one of the guys who was was speaking, but I wasn't that familiar with him or the other guy who was hosting the conference. I sent the promo email to a couple friends just to show them what I was going to and one friend wrote back that they looked "too pretty" to be legit. I had to admit that the head shots and dark tans gave me pause as to what sort of ministry they could have. I have a strong distaste for fake baking.

But as usual, I went in with an open mind. I was expecting to encounter God. I'm in transition and have been crying out for clarity about where to go next in life. So I figured I had nothing to lose.

I didn't grow up in the church and have never been to an official charismatic church, so I still kind of marvel at what goes on at these charismatic gatherings. I noticed that there was a huge amount of racial diversity, probably due to the fact that the meeting was outside of New York City, but there was also a large amount of personality diversity. I will kindly call them "eccentric people."

Worship had already begun after we arrived and so we found seats near the front. Immediately I was out of my element. They weren't playing the Jesus Culture or Hillsong music I'm used to and I didn't know the songs. People were worshiping freely, which didn't bother me, but I could've gotten distracted.

I thought about how in mainstream churches we all close our eyes and sing our songs to God and get all hot and bothered if someone nearby is swaying too much, or singing off key, or their baby starts crying during the sermon. We think, "How dare that person interrupt my personal worship experience with God!"

I was reminded of a sermon my friend Adam did (see the right tab of this blog and go to his podcast on the Shema), about how worship is supposed to be corporate and not all about the benefits of my personal God. So I decided to open my eyes and look at all these eccentric people. I asked God to help me feel connected to the corporate Body of Christ- not just the people who look like me- but everyone. These strange people. And as I worshiped with my eyes OPEN I looked around the room. I asked God to let me feel His love for those- sorry- weirdos. I got past their dancing and arm waving. I got over how "distracting" they were. Heaven help you if you had ADD. I started to think about what the purpose of worship is anyway. Is it to close your eyes and feel God as if you were alone in a room full of other believers? Or is it to feel the love of God coming from the other believers?

I didn't feel better immediately, but by the second day I really started to appreciate the differences among us all. It occurred to me to ask how much we are really stretched to love people and use our gifts to edify the Body when everyone in our churches looks just like us. How is our love for others tested when we only associate with people we feel comfortable around? How easily are we offended when someone different walks into our church and disrupts our sense of how one should worship God?

I recalled the quote by Mike Bickle of I.H.O.P., the International House of Pancakes- I mean- Prayer... He said, "God offends the mind to reveal the heart." For me a lot of the conference was about offending the areas where my mind had gotten stodgy and comfortable. He wanted to nudge me out of my comfort zone to open me up for greater revelation. He wanted to see if I'd miss it simply because it came out of the mouth of somebody I thought was too tan- or was dressed like an elf. Seriously. At one point I had my eyes closed and was listening to this woman who had come up to share a word. Half way through I opened my eyes to see this small woman wearing a sparkly shirt, puffy pants and boots, with her hair pulled back with this feathery clip that made her ears look more pointy. I thought, "Oh my gosh, that woman really looks like an elf!" I could have been so focused on that, or offended by that, that I missed the fact that she was speaking a powerful word of encouragement.

In the end I got packed full of tons of clarity, direction, and encouragement- all of which I could have missed if I had focused on the oddity of the message barriers.

So next time somebody in church makes you uncomfortable, or someone's expression of worship is different from yours- or even more- their doctrine... ask yourself if you would be willing to miss out on something that God might want to reveal to you through that person just because it comes in a different package than you are used to. And learn from Balaam, who was so blind and resistant to what God was trying to show him that had to hear the truth from his donkey!

All beginnings are hopeful!

"All beginnings are hopeful!" was spoken by the president of Oxford University to the entering freshman class of 1944- in the middle of a world war.

To give credit where it is due, and so you don't think I'm more creative than I am, I actually read that in a workbook called "48 Days to the Work You Love." It was sitting on the dresser in my room when I got here. (Not as a hint either- my friend's mom just started a new career.)

Anyway, I'm sure we have all noticed that it's a new year. I don't have anything profound to say about the new year that hasn't already been written in devotionals, preached in sermons, or mentioned on a morning show. But I would like to share something about how I'm choosing to view my new year.

I have a new journal. I don't know about you, but to me journals are deeply meaningful. I choose each new one carefully, looking for evidence of what life will contain by the design of the cover. Last year's journal had a butterfly on it and the Scripture from Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Indeed the theme of last year was hope. At times it was difficult to remain hopeful in the midst of trials and sorrow, but through it all God remained faithful and moved me closer toward healing and freedom.

As soon as I saw my new journal I immediately knew it would serve as the definition for the new season of life. It is blue with a gold embossed shadow of a tree limb and flower with a yellow sunburst framing a blue butterfly with wings outstretched. In the middle of the golden framing is the solitary word "BEGIN."

Many of my journals are covered with butterflies. I love butterflies for their grace and dignity, but also because of the Christian symbolism of being a new creation. I love the hope that comes from the words of Christ in Revelation, "Behold, I make all things new!" (Revelation 21:5, KJV)

The cool thing about this journal, which distinguishes it from any journal I've ever had before, is that it has no lines. At first I was intimidated by this. "Can I write straight?" I asked myself. But indeed, I am for the most part good at writing straight. (Unless I'm writing on a board on the wall and then I think I write slanting upwards- doesn't that make me an optimist?) Anyway, after a slight hesitation, I quickly embraced the lack of lines. I realized that for the first time my journal can not only contain my written thoughts, inspiring quotes, and Scripture verses, but also drawings and pictures! I am not very artistic, but for once I was inspired to start drawing rough diagrams with stick figures and drawings using colored pens and highlighters! I started putting dreams, visions, and insights to paper which never would have fit in the lines.

And as I'm reassessing my calling, trying to discern where the Lord would have me spend my life, and remembering that I'm a competent person with many gifts and abilities, I'm trying to view my life without lines- without the restrictions and limitations placed on me by myself and others in the past.

Indeed it is a new year, and all beginnings are hopeful! If you are in Christ, your entire life is made new- so take this opportunity of a new calendar year to really search for why you were created! And see your life through the eyes of Christ who removes all the barriers and limitations placed on your life.

2 Corinthians 5:16-17: Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons! Look at it! (The Message)